"I married a woman and went to the Prophet, he said: 'O Jabir! Have you married?' I said: 'Yes.' He said: 'A virgin or a matron?' I said: 'A matron.' He said: 'Why didn't you marry a young girl, so that you may play with her and she with you?' I said: 'O Messenger of Allah! Abdullah (his father) died and left behind seven - or nine - daughter, so I have brought someone who can look after them.'" (He said:) "So he supplicated for me."
The Messenger of Allah said: "Whichever woman married without the permission of her Wali her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid. If he entered into her, then the Mahr is for her in lieu of what he enjoyed from her private part. If they disagree, then the Sultan is the Wali for one who has no Wali."
"The Messenger of Allah taught us the Tashah-hud for Salat and the Tashah-hud for Al-Hajjah." He said: "The Tashah-hud for Salat is: (At-Tahiyyatulilah, was-walawtu wat-tayyibatu. As-Salamu alaika ayyuhan-Nabiyyu wa rahmatullilahi wa barakatuhu, As-Salamu alina wa ala ibadillahis-salihin. Ashahadu an la ilaha illallah, wa ashhadu anna Muhammadan abduha wa Raduluh.) 'All greetings, prayers, and pure words are for Allah. Peace be upon you O Prophet, and Allah's mercy and His blessings. Peace be upon us and all of the righteous worshippers of Allah. I testify that none has the right to be worshiped but Allah. and I testify that Muhammad is His slave and His Messenger."And the Tashah-hud for Al-Hajjah is: 'Indeed all praise is due to Allah, we seek His aid, and we seek His forgiveness, and we seek refuge with Allah from the evils of our souls and the mischief of our deeds. (Innal-Hamdlillahi nasta'inuhu, wa nastaghfirhu, wa na'udhu billahi min sharuri anfusina, wa sayy'ita a'malina, man yahdihi, sala mudilla lahu, wa manyudlil, fala Hadiya lahu, wa ashadu an la ilaha illallah wa ashadu anna Muhammadan abduhu wa Rasuluh) 'Whoever He guides - meaning Allah - then here is none to lead him astray, and whomever He misleads, then there is no guide for him. I testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah, and I testify that Muhammad is His worshipper and Messenger.'" He said: "And he recited three Ayat."
The Prophet said: "A matron should not be given in marriage until she is consulted, and a virgin should not be given in marriage until her permission is sought, and her silence is her permission."
حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، حَدَّثَنَا مَالِكُ بْنُ أَنَسٍ، عَنْ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ الْفَضْلِ، عَنْ نَافِعِ بْنِ جُبَيْرِ بْنِ مُطْعِمٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ، أَنَّ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم قَالَ " الأَيِّمُ أَحَقُّ بِنَفْسِهَا مِنْ وَلِيِّهَا وَالْبِكْرُ تُسْتَأْذَنُ فِي نَفْسِهَا وَإِذْنُهَا صُمَاتُهَا " . هَذَا حَدِيثٌ حَسَنٌ صَحِيحٌ . وَقَدْ رَوَى شُعْبَةُ وَسُفْيَانُ الثَّوْرِيُّ هَذَا الْحَدِيثَ عَنْ مَالِكِ بْنِ أَنَسٍ . وَقَدِ احْتَجَّ بَعْضُ النَّاسِ فِي إِجَازَةِ النِّكَاحِ بِغَيْرِ وَلِيٍّ بِهَذَا الْحَدِيثِ وَلَيْسَ فِي هَذَا الْحَدِيثِ مَا احْتَجُّوا بِهِ لأَنَّهُ قَدْ رُوِيَ مِنْ غَيْرِ وَجْهٍ عَنِ ابْنِ عَبَّاسٍ عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم " لاَ نِكَاحَ إِلاَّ بِوَلِيٍّ " وَهَكَذَا أَفْتَى بِهِ ابْنُ عَبَّاسٍ بَعْدَ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَقَالَ لاَ نِكَاحَ إِلاَّ بِوَلِيٍّ . وَإِنَّمَا مَعْنَى قَوْلِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم " الأَيِّمُ أَحَقُّ بِنَفْسِهَا مِنْ وَلِيِّهَا " . عِنْدَ أَكْثَرِ أَهْلِ الْعِلْمِ أَنَّ الْوَلِيَّ لاَ يُزَوِّجُهَا إِلاَّ بِرِضَاهَا وَأَمْرِهَا فَإِنْ زَوَّجَهَا فَالنِّكَاحُ مَفْسُوخٌ عَلَى حَدِيثِ خَنْسَاءَ بِنْتِ خِذَامٍ حَيْثُ زَوَّجَهَا أَبُوهَا وَهِيَ ثَيِّبٌ فَكَرِهَتْ ذَلِكَ فَرَدَّ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم نِكَاحَهُ .
The Messenger of Allah said: "The matron has more right to herself than her Wali, and the virgin is to give permission for herself, and her silence is her permission."
The Messenger of Allah said: "An orphan is to be consulted about herself, then if she is silent that is her permission, and if she refuses, then do not authorize it (the marriage) for her" (meaning: when she attains the age of puberty and refuses it.)